This website contains and includes our opinions, hunches, suspicions and best guesses:



This is the Home Page of...

Monkeys Wearing Pants


Exposing Bad Governments, Scammy

Businesses and Stupid People.

Because....without them, where would we be?

What's the dumbest nation on earth?

America is working hard to win that prize.

But currently SE ASEAN Countries Have First Place.



This website is finally launching

publicly as of September 20,2022.


This website is

Copyright (c) 2022


The purpose of this website is to:


Educate newcomers and existing expats alike

in the often bizarre and mystifying ways of life,

living and commerce in most SE Asian countries.




It ain't all cake and ice cream.




Do you like slimy, creepy things? Snakes? Geckos? Worms?


Naw. Neither do we.


But SE Asia is overflowing with them, like a long-plugged rotting toilet.


We don't mean in the jungle.


We mean in the business districts.


Trying to do business here (Pattaya / Chonburi), especially in Real Estate, Home and Condo Rentals, etc., will often, usually, or always be one long, interminable exercise in lying down with snakes, worms, geckos, maggots, vipers, constrictors, flesh-eating beach bacteria, salmonella, e-coli, and a host of other nasties. Lie down with them (i.e. struggle to do honest business with them) then see what you get up with. Chances are high the things that cling to you will be revolting beyond belief. Would you name your company "Stinky Rotting Gecko Incorporated"? How about, "Snake Enterprises Ltd."? Or "Worms-R-Us"? Of course not. But that's too often what some slimy, dishonest businesses SHOULD be named, so folks would have a better idea of which ones to avoid. Here's what you get when you mess around with reptiles:


"Reptiles and amphibians have Salmonella germs on their bodies even when they appear healthy and clean. Salmonella can spread by either direct or indirect contact with amphibians (e.g., frogs), geckos, reptiles (e.g., turtles, lizards or snakes) or their droppings."


So why would you mess around with stinky, nasty things when seeking a property rental?


Answer: YOU SHOULDN'T. Because it's bad for your health AND your bank account.



If you've been screwed by idiot, dishonest landlords and scammy property management outfits, especially in the region of Pattaya, Banglamung, Chonburi, Thailand (20150 zip area), or if you're WORRIED about being screwed, scammed, lied to, stolen from, cheated, bamboozled, defrauded, treated badly, etc., by bad landlords in Pattaya, Thailand, then this Bud's for you.


Bookmark it.


We no longer reside in SE

Asia and never will again.


The problem isn't the Asians;

It's the Westerners.


Links to illustrate,

prove and document our

claims are pending:




Gecko Property rentals, homes, commercial properties in the Pattaya, Thailand area.


General comments and observations on a decade of living in every SE Asian country.


How to import an Amazon (or other) order to a SE Asian country? Good luck.


Jay Allan Solomon, Robert "Bobby" Tillotson, Steve Scholey, rentals, homes


Rental Scams, Chonburi, Pattaya, Thailand.


Rental and Condo scams, Bangkok.






...In progress as of September 8, 2022.